Worth the Wait
Valentine’s Day has come and gone. February will be a wrap in a few days and that means, my birthday month will be here. Yay!!! As a thirty five year old single woman, getting questions about my relationship status is a normal occurrence. It’s almost as if with each passing birthday that I’m still single, some people get really weird about it and that’s something I can’t really wrap my mind around.
What I’ve noticed is that it’s become a cultural norm to assume that single women are crying their eyes behind closed doors or that it’s impossible to be content in singleness. Sure, there are women who struggle with this area of their lives but the misconception is that anyone that is single is living in this space of waiting, holding back from experiencing life because they are waiting on someone to do life with. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
The fact of the matter is that there are tons of people who have gotten married simply to put other people at ease or because they felt like it was time even if it was without God’s approval. The pressure to conform to cultural norms and the fact that we aren’t getting any younger can be so very real. Over the years I’ve struggled with coming up with an acceptable answer for people on why I’m single (and not dating) simply because I don’t want to come across sad or like I’m on a mission to find a man. The truth is, I am neither.
My truth is that I’ve never been in a relationship that honored God. I have learned through my own personal experiences that a relationship, and even marriage, is not my definition of success. My heart knows all too well what it feels like to fall for someone who just wasn’t good for me. So my prayer today is not that I find a husband. My prayer for myself is that I would know the difference between what is good for my soul versus what is good for my flesh. My hope is that I would have the wisdom to know what (or who) is sent by God and what isn’t. I want to be led by God and not pressure from other people, and so if that means not dating right now, then so be it. If that means being found in God’s timing, then so be it. If that means developing a relationship with God so that I can be ready for a Christ centered marriage later, then so be it.
Perspective is everything and in an effort to protect my mind, my inner peace, and my joy, here are some principles I live by as a single woman.
You are enough. Yes, even in your singleness.
If you are always looking, you will never be found. Let God write your love story.
The world will tell you that you are behind the curve but the world doesn’t get to decide your worth or where you should be at any given time in your life.
Live a life you will look back on and be proud of no matter what your relationship status is today or where it will be a year from today.
It’s okay to not want what everyone else wants for you. So, don’t allow unsolicited questions force you into something your heart and your mind aren’t ready for. God’s plans, not theirs.
Move through life from a place of contentment and confidence, never settling for what’s convenient or seeking someone or something to fill a void only God can fill.
Be led by God and not emotion. ((So if God didn’t send him, run sis!))
Above all else, seek God daily with your whole heart and allow His plans to become your plans for your life.
To the woman who desires to be married, don’t be discouraged. God hears your prayers. He sees you even if you feel unseen. Know that you are enough exactly where you are. You are not broken. You are not lacking in something. You are complete through Him and Him alone. Seek God first and without stipulations. Allow God’s voice to speak louder than what anyone else says about where you are in life today. Keep praying and keep believing because anything that comes from God is worth the wait.
K R Y S T L E
