Experiences as a Black Woman
I remember when I was around 15 years old and in modeling school…I was the only black girl in my class and it was like I wasn’t there. I remember my mother having to tell the agency to give me the same (not more) attention that everyone else received in the class.
I remember the time a co-worker told me that I wasn’t really black because my parents weren’t born in this country, which makes absolutely no sense. He never actually made a point that day.
I remember when a co-worker told me that I wasn’t like the other black people, whatever that means. I believe her intention was to give me a compliment. Epic fail!
I remember when I worked at a store in the Galleria and the manager told me to follow anyone Mexican who came into the store. Looking back I realize I was the only black person working there at the time and I wonder if the non-black employees were told to watch out for people who look like me.
I remember every time I’ve been the only black girl in the room and the pressure I felt to say the right thing or do the right thing because I knew I didn’t have the space to grow or make a mistake like my non-black counterparts did. This isn’t about having a victim complex. Keep reading…
I have witnessed black co-workers be labeled as mean and aggressive and when other non-black people acted the same way or worse, it was never addressed.
I can think of every single time I’ve went to a nice restaurant and if looks could kill, I’d surely not be here to write this blog post.
The truth is, no matter how I dress, no matter how well I speak, and no matter how well I’ve tried to present myself to the world, I am fully aware that I haven’t always been welcome in the rooms that I occupy. Whether it be subtle or “in your face,” I know what it feels like to be tolerated and it doesn’t feel good. It is exhausting and disheartening. This isn’t about having an inferiority complex. No, this is about maneuvering through a world that has always seen people who look like me (or even you) as less than, even today. This is about living in a country that put a bandaid on a wound that has been bleeding for far too long.
I truly believe a shift is happening right now and no matter how slow or long overdue it might be, here we are! Conversations are happening now that have never happened in churches, in homes, and within friendship groups. There is much work to be done and as a country, there is so much learning, understanding, protesting, and praying to do. My prayer and hope is that the small victories would turn into to big wins that will have a significant impact wherever it is needed.
I leave you with this…..
In a world that may not truly see you, know that you are beautiful in every sense of the word. For every time you’ve felt tolerated, know that you deserve a seat at the table. For every time you’ve been seen as less than, your ideas have fallen on deaf ears, and your talents have been dismissed simply because of the color of your skin, don’t let up. Keep showing up for yourself and your ideas and your perspective. This world doesn’t get to tell us who we are. Period!
K R Y S T L E
