Faith in Motion
For the last week or so I haven’t felt like myself. I feel as though I’ve just been floating through life and with each passing day I’ve found myself praying less and fussing more. I’ve been a little short with people and I’ve withdrawn from the people I care about. I'm reminded that it's not enough to say we have faith. It's not enough to declare it social media. It has to be seen and heard and evident in how we move through life. That's my challenge right now.
There is this distance I feel between God and I that I take full responsibility for creating. I’ve let my emotions get the best of me because my prayers aren’t being answered as fast as I would like. I’m most definitely in a season of waiting on God to reveal certain things to me and to tell me what my next step is, but I’ve grown frustrated. Frankly, I'm tired of waiting.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
I’m not the best pretender so when things are bothering me, it’s typically written all over my face. My spirit has been broken. My faith has been so very weak. My heart breaks because I’ve been here before, tired of waiting yet still desperate for God to show up because I don’t have all the answers. I know all to well that faith is a journey and not a destination. It stings a little bit to know that at this point in my life and walk with God that I still have these seasons of doubting that He hears me. I know better because I’ve seen Him work!
Faith is more than a declaration, it is an action. Learning to trust in God is a daily walk and tomorrow is a new day. I’m grateful that in all my mess, impatience, and disobedience that God remains who He is. I’m grateful for every bit of grace that He so freely gives but I acknowledge that I must do my part. I would be foolish to give up on God and I certainly cannot let go of the fact that He has a plan for my life. Emotions are always subject to change but God remains the same. Even while my faith may waver, God remains constant.
Sometimes I wish that joy and peace and faith came in pill or better yet life came with a map, clearly telling me what’s to come next. Today I still feel stuck. Today I still feel like the unknown could potentially suck the life out of me. But I can’t stay here. I’ve got to remind myself daily that God has never and will never fail me. I have to be mindful of the words I speak, my attitude, and my demeanor because I understand that I can’t walk around with a smile on my face based on my own terms. No, instead I have to trust that God has my back.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25
To that woman who is tired of praying the same prayers, keep praying. To the woman who feels stuck in life and just needs a breakthrough, understand that you are not alone. To the woman who is sick and tired of having more answers than questions, know that God hasn’t forgotten about you. And know.....I’m right there with you!
K R Y S T L E
